Message PartnersThe company I work for, Message Partners, provides breakthrough email protection and compliance for companies who need to function in a high-accuracy, high-demand email environment. Our platform, MPP (Message Processing Platform), gives companies the unique ability to directly customize email accounts on a per-person or per-domain basis. MPP is powerful enough to run numerous spam and virus filters at a time (both commercial and open source), which has proven essential in beating back the alarming rise and criminalization of spam.
Whether you're a service provider, or a company currently getting slammed by viruses, phishing, or spam, for industry-leading email protection and compliance click right here.
Message Partners Has Entered the Podcast Age
To hear a podcast featuring our latest and greatest developments like our pre and post-queue filtering, or how to use MPP as an API interface, click here.
Some Spam Funnies
You Might Be a Spammer If (Cont'd)...
You watch a small screen TV so all of your body parts look bigger
You send consulting bills to friends who only thought they were just hanging out with you.
Whenever a magazine insert falls out of a magazine, you fill out a friend’s name.
You've considered taking pills to make your tie bigger.
You tell everyone you were one of the first Viagra babies.
You think women should figure out a way to have babies by e-section.
When you eat rice, you wonder why each grain of rice doesn’t have a message written on it.
You eat Alphabets cereal for every morning for clues to figure out what nonsense messages you’re going to put in your subject matter that day.
You take half a dozen pills every day just to keep your body parts the same size.
You can keep up with my latest attempts at humor by clicking here.
Where to Read My Work
- Still generating plenty of positive buzz is my most recent piece on P’Boz, “Machiavelli in Kindergarten.” Read as little Nicolo goes positively Machiavellian on his kindergarten teacher. Train your evil eye here.
- Another historical hatchet job, “Not-So-Great Gatsby,” where I defile F. Scott’s masterpiece, can be found at the wonderfully original Pindeldyboz. Give it a look-see at Pindeldyboz.com.
- A piece of mine appears in the humor anthology “More Mirth of a Nation” with the likes of Steve Martin, Ian Frazier, Andy Borowitz, and Paul Rudnick. You will find me on page 300. You can still buy the book at Amazon.com.
- Some of my all time favorites, including Dear Federal Reserve, as well as Unanecdotes, continue to reside at the deservedly famous McSweeney’s Internet Tendency.
Note: there is plenty to peruse below, from "Manson Family Feud" in Silly Bits, to a Seinfeld script I wrote that has never been called anything less than hilarious. Pete out.
Boat Note
You may have heard about my friend Fish's valient efforts to restore a nineteenth century tugboat. Well, now there's a wikipedia entry about the boat, and you can read all about it right here.* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Re-PeteTV
PeteTV was once the site for weekly hilarity. Alas, no more, but the archives are still teeming with jocularity. To read what all the hullabaloo was about, go to The Weekly Pete Archives.
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Read a Darkly Funny Short Story
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A Rather Silly Exchange...
With
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Silly Bits
Read Short Stories
inFrequently Asked Questions
&
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The Seinfeld Script
Read One Funny-Ass Seinfeld Script
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All material on this site is the copyright of ©Peter Schooff